(From my latest book About Life Choices and Potholes)
I’ve learned that life doesn’t come with a rulebook — just a series of choices and the occasional pothole to remind you that you’re human.
If I had to define the principles I live by, they’d sound something like this:
1. Choose truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
For a long time, I wore masks — the successful professional, the good daughter, the woman who “had it all figured out.” Then life stripped those layers away. Losing my job, moving back home, sitting in the stillness of uncertainty — it all forced me to be brutally honest with myself. Now, I don’t chase perfection; I chase alignment. If it doesn’t feel like truth, it’s not for me.
2. Trust the potholes.
Every detour I once cursed — every heartbreak, every failure, every delay — has led me somewhere better. About Life Choices and Potholes was born out of one such unexpected turn. What I thought was an ending became the beginning of something real. The potholes teach you patience, humility, and perspective — the kind that no smooth road ever could.
3. Don’t confuse stillness with stagnation.
There were days when doing “nothing” felt like failing — when the silence after leaving a fast-paced life in the U.S. was deafening. But that stillness became fertile ground for reflection. Growth doesn’t always announce itself with motion; sometimes, it whispers through pause.
4. Live gently, even in chaos.
I used to think resilience meant being tough, armored, unshakable. Now I know it’s the opposite. It’s about staying soft — holding your ground without hardening your heart. Whether it’s dealing with family expectations, societal pressure, or self-doubt, I remind myself: gentleness is not weakness. It’s grace under uncertainty.
5. Lead with curiosity.
When nothing makes sense, I ask “Why?” — not to control, but to understand. Curiosity has been my compass through confusion, helping me turn every misstep into meaning.
These aren’t commandments carved in stone — they’re more like post-it notes on the dashboard of my life. Some days I forget them; other days, they save me.
About Life Choices and Potholes is built on these principles — that every fall has wisdom, every detour has direction, and every choice, even the messy ones, carries you closer to who you truly are.
So yes, my principles are simple:
Be honest. Be gentle. Trust the potholes.
Because that’s where the real story begins.
Kay’s Odyssey 
Leave a comment